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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22632982">Checks and Balances</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaidaShade/pseuds/KaidaShade'>KaidaShade</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Setting Sights [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Destiny (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Banshee's memory issues, M/M, Morning After, ambiguously canon-compliant, discussion of suicide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 09:59:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,868</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22632982</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaidaShade/pseuds/KaidaShade</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Banshee-44 has ways of dealing with his memory issues, little tests to gauge the damage.  A bad day leads to Cayde finding out more about them than he wanted to know.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Banshee-44/Cayde-6 (Destiny)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Setting Sights [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1637296</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Checks and Balances</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I said I wasn't going to write anything angsty for this pairing and yet here we are.  The idea popped into my head and wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it down, so here you go.  Fits in after Secluded Encounters and Risks Run, though the timeline isn't exactly solid in my head.  Maybe there will be more stupid smut soon, I'm kinda just writing these as and when - should probably write the bar trip mentioned mentioned in Secluded Encounters because that will be grade-A Shenanigans.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It took Cayde a moment to remember where he was when he woke, staring at the ceiling with his legs tangled up in someone else’s blankets.  Slowly the memory resolved; a long night of pleasure after Banshee had all but dragged him back to his home and into his bed, a far more premeditated encounter than their usual trysts in the workshop.  He hummed contentedly and let his eyes slide shut again, content to just roll over and cuddle back in for a carefree morning.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Only, the bed next to him was empty.  He patted the sheets a few times, just to make sure, then cracked an eye open again to look.  No Banshee, just the lingering warmth and faint imprint of another body recently departed. He pouted to himself for a moment before pushing himself upright and stretching his arms over his head.  It was rare for him to not be the first one awake, even rarer for him to sleep through someone else getting up, and he wondered idly how Banshee had managed that as he disentangled himself from the blankets and got up to wander out of the bedroom.  He figured Banshee had seen him naked enough times now that he didn’t need to bother addressing that issue, especially since all the important parts were safely sheathed when not in use.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He could hear someone else moving around as he pushed the bedroom door open, a faint shuffling and clinking and a rough, familiar voice muttering to itself.  The apartment wasn’t very big, very much intended for one person, so it took Cayde and his superior Hunter tracking skills absolutely no time at all to locate Banshee in the kitchen with his back to the door, focused on something on the counter.  He hadn’t bothered to dress properly either, just a pair of boxers hanging low on his hips and leaving Cayde with a lovely view of the intricate, jointed plating of his back, the small lights along his spine. It was a familiar sight, and Cayde arranged himself in a casual lean in the doorway and watched him for a while before resetting his vocaliser to get his attention.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He was getting used to Banshee pointing guns at him when interrupted, but this time was definitely different.  The small pistol he found himself staring down wasn’t particularly threatening, but the look in Banshee’s eyes… like he was an intruder, a stranger.  Like he was actually afraid of him. He held his hands up and actually backed up, startled. “Whoa, easy, it’s just me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The words hung in the air for a moment.  Cayde stayed very, very still. Banshee didn’t lower the gun, but there was a flicker to his eyes and his shoulders lost some of their tension.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Cayde?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sagged, the gun finally dropping to rest against his thigh.  “Okay. Fuck. Hey. Just, just gimme a sec, go back to bed. I just gotta finish this.”  He made to turn his back on him, and Cayde circled around to come up next to him where he would see him approach.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“After that?  I’ve never been more awake in my life dude, you okay?”  He said, leaning on the counter without trying to touch him.  “I know I was kinda drunk last night, but was I that bad?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Banshee didn’t laugh, and that made whatever was in Cayde’s chest instead of a heart clench a bit.  He just shook his head, picking up a small piece of what he’d been working on- a disassembled rifle, Cayde realised- and turning it over in his hands a few times.  “Dunno. I’m fine. Just… having a bad morning. I’ll finish this and it’ll be fine.” The piece slotted into place in the gun’s frame, followed by another, and Cayde got caught up watching him for a few moments before he managed to probe deeper.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Morning’s barely started, how bad can it be?”  Banshee stopped what he was doing and glanced at him- glowered, perhaps- but he pressed on, “If something’s wrong, you can tell me, I’m not just here for a good time, y’know?  I care about you and shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The glower continued, and Cayde did his best to look as sincere as possible.  Banshee held his gaze for a moment before his eyes dropped back to the gun on the counter, sagging a little as all his plating pulled in close.  When he spoke, his voice was quiet, barely more than a frustrated mumble. “I woke up this morning and I didn’t remember who you were, okay?” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Oh.”  What else could he say, really?  It wasn’t exactly </span>
  <em>
    <span>okay</span>
  </em>
  <span> - especially not when Banshee seemed so ashamed and freaked out over it which, fair - but he wasn’t mad or anything.  </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Yeah.  One of those days.  So go back to bed, I gotta finish this and I’ll join you.”  He gestured with the half-assembled rifle, the flash of light off its surface catching Cayde’s eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is ‘this’, exactly?  You’re not the type to take your work home with you.”  He couldn’t help himself, this was weird behaviour and he was worried.  Some would say nosy, he preferred worried.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“You’re not just gonna go back to bed ‘til I tell you, are you?”  Banshee sighed, but he still made Cayde wait until he’d put all the pieces back together in perfect working order before he deigned to explain.  “It’s a test. I’ve had this gun longer than I remember. I know it’s Golden Age, but not older than me. Reckon I know it better’n I know myself.  I forget a lotta stuff, but I never forget how to take this thing apart, clean it out, put it back together, keep it working perfectly.” He said, running his hand over the barrel fondly before setting it aside and turning to lean on the counter.  “Any time I have a bad day, forget something important, I do this. Sometimes I remember what I forgot, sometimes I don’t, but as long as I can do this, it’s okay. I’m still… still me.” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Cayde didn’t want to ask.  He had to know. “And if you… can’t do that?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The resigned sag of Banshee’s shoulders, the brief moment where he closed his eyes and gathered himself, made him regret it.  He watched him reach back and curl his fingers around the little pistol again, lift it to show him. “That’s what this one’s for.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A cold dread seeped through his wires and it was all Cayde could do not to just snatch it away from him.  The light in his mouth flickered as he tried to find words, eventually managed a staticky “You’ve thought about this.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Yeah.  Seems… right.  I forget a lot but I’m well aware it’s gotten worse, and it’s gonna keep getting worse.”  He folded his arms across his chest, hunching up a little, and Cayde didn’t think he’d ever seen him look so old.  “Long as I still have this, I’m still me. Still useful, at least. I don’t wanna keep going if I don’t have that.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Hey.”  Cayde hated how his voice stuttered on that one word, almost as much as he hated having to think about this, with the way his hand shook when he reached out to touch Banshee’s arm a close third.  “There’s more to you than just that. You’re more than just a gunsmith.” </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“For now.  I gotta draw the line somewhere, Cayde.”  Banshee sighed. He didn’t look at Cayde, but his hand shifted to brush their fingers together.  “I wasn’t gonna tell you. Hopefully it won’t come to that, not for a long, long time. I’m doing pretty good, we’re not really supposed to make it past twenty resets, you know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Somehow that doesn’t help.  Why didn’t you say anything?”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Knew you’d be worried.  Thought you might try’n stop me, if it came to it.”  He unfolded a little, and Cayde was tempted to resist out of spite as one arm went around his shoulders and pulled him in, but that was stupid and he really did want to be held.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d want to.”  He admitted. “I don’t wanna lose you.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Better on my terms than I forget who I am, Cayde.  I’d rather die by choice than lose the ability to make that choice.  You understand?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cayde hated that he did.  He sagged against Banshee, put his arm around his waist and leaned in to nuzzle against the side of his head.  "Just… warn me first. Or if you need another reset."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You won't stop me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't, can I?  You're right. Either way I'm gonna lose you eventually unless something kills me first.  Least I can do is… I dunno. A chance to say goodbye or something." Truth was, he didn't know what he'd do, but the idea of Banshee dying alone was intolerable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You make it sound like that's unusual, Cayde.  Pretty sure that's what happens with most people who stay together.  Either someone dies or you break up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wow, you made that really depressing."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Banshee headbutted him gently.  "Guess I just think about it more.  I'm done, anyway. You wanna go back to bed?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Only if you come too."  Like hell he was letting Banshee out of his sight right now, especially when he was dimly aware he was still holding the pistol.  "Just uh… put that away first. I'm only into guns in the bedroom under like, super-specific circumstances."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hm?  Oh, right.  Yeah." He let go of Cayde and turned to stow both weapons in a drawer that one might usually expect to hold cutlery or something mundane like that.  Cayde did not let go of him, which made the process slightly more awkward. He knew it was clingy and stupid, but up until then it had never really occurred to him that Banshee wasn't immortal in the same way that he was.  Suddenly every second with him seemed vital.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was so lost in that that the gentle press of a hard mouth to his startled him, Banshee's clever hands either side of his face to cup his jaw.  "I'm sorry, Cayde. Guess I kinda put a dampener on your day, huh?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll be fine.  It's just a lot, y'know?  Are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>gonna be okay?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah.  I remembered the important part."  He kissed him again, and Cayde returned it properly this time.  "Last night's totally gone, though. Think I need a reminder, if you're in the mood for it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know that's the least sexy way you've ever asked me for sex ever, right?  I mean, not that it's hard to be less sexy than you usually are, but still." Another kiss, "Answer's still yes, though.  You're very persuasive and clearly I just gotta do better than the awesome, mind blowing night we had."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The jokes felt a bit flatter than he liked, but Banshee still chuckled quietly as he herded him back into the bedroom.  The sound eased a little of the tension Cayde still carried, and it was as easy as ever to tumble into bed with him and press close.  For now, he had him, and once Banshee got his hands on him that dark future seemed very far away for a little while. </span>
</p>
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